Wednesday, May 30, 2007

ugh...

Whooo, man. I did not expect yesterday to be filled with so much drama. I'm a bit drained from it all, to be honest. So, here's an ugly caterpillar: Yes you are. Hell, why are you even in a children's coloring book, you ugly thing?

Monday, May 28, 2007

This is still funny, right?

Brokeback Mountain. We all know what it was. We all know the jokes, and how lame they are. Well, that's because you haven't seen my joke on the subject! I present today's comic, entitled Overused Internet Meme #457: Well, that's your fault for wearing such a tacky shirt. Oh, and having sex with dudes.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Think about all the wierd sounds coming from here.

Orgies are an interesting thing. Imagine all the planning that has to go into one of these things. First, you gotta find people who are so scarilly at one with their sexuality that they feel the need to display their prowess with a group of strangers. Then, you gota find enough food and drink to make the pervs happy. And don't get me started on the cleaning supplies for such an occasion. Thankfully, for the animals on whatever twisted farm today's comic comes from, they don't need to worry about such things: Well, Mr. Pig, believe me, I've seen worse.

Monday, May 21, 2007

I've been a bad interneter...



Well...2 weeks without a comic seems to be right by my schedule, correct? No? Oh, well...fuck. Sorry about the hold-up, folks. Had a bit too much to do these past weeks, what with being lazy and having a Wii to enjoy taking up most olf my free time. But, I decided to do something nice today. Today is my birthday (hooray!), and, instead of having you people give me gifts (which you all SHOULD), I decided to give one to you and give you not one, but TWO new comics to enjoy! Aren't you excited!!! ...no? Well, deal with it, asshole. First, we have a woman who finds her own way with dealing with the lolcat phenomenon:

Good. I always hated that fucking cat.


And, as an addition, we have probably my favorite comic, which is making fun not only of my first comic, but the great Animals Have Problems Too webcomic, which is fucking amazing:



He's the kind of lobster that still uses Monica Lewinski jokes, because they're SOOOO relevant and hilarious.

Monday, May 7, 2007

Check him out on Dateline soon!

Aaahhh, it's good to be home. Well, other than the control issues with the parents, the cleaning of my entire house, the menial chores, and all the other shit that you loose from coming back from college. Anyway, I'm just happy I can start posting again. Man, last night was a blast for me, because I finally got to play onstage with one of my favorite local bands Money $hot, who are a bunch of great guys. If anyone knows about them, or would like to know more, visit their myspace page, and get the word out. Alright, to the comic. Today's comic shows a jovial man geting ready for his favorite organization: Yeah, that's the North American Man/Boy Love Association. Pretty much the union for pedophiles. And, yes, they do exist: http://www.nambla.org/

Monday, April 30, 2007

Priors sure are a bitch.

Well, folks, I'm gonna be unable to keep up with my regular schedule for comic updates (which, oddly enough, i was gonna start this week) since I'm moving Wednesday, and will be pretty busy all through the weekend, leading up to a music gig and a new job. So, come next week, there will be much blogging, and much comic regularity. But, for the time being, here's today's offering:



Shit, I gotcha, brotha. I know how it is when you're on the run.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Well, at least he's got something to do.

Something tells me that this guy kinda likes chicken. Actually, he probably loves it. He is a huge racial stereotype from a children's book, after all.

Monday, April 23, 2007

A Bashful Propostion, or something

So, I'm kind of a fan of literature. Especially when it comes to really, really weird stuff. "I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream" is a pretty good example of what I mean. Or any of Steven King's stuff tends to be pure enjoyment for me. Something about sitting down, being away from the world, and reading about men transformed into monkeys with huge genitals and killer cars just has a weird appeal to me. And, apparently, it does so for our Child today: Well, that's probably because that books about eating babies. Babies are pretty tasty.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I could never draw that art academy turtle.

Did anyone out there ever take that Art Academy test? I remember seeing those fucking commercials everywhere. Nowadays, instead of nicely drawn turtles, the only commercials you see are for cleaning products and college girls with no moral fiber. Well, if I ever had another crack at that turtle today, I bet I'd still do shitty: This is why I color things. I apparently can't draw as well as a 7-year-old.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Seriously, does this even need a joke?

AAAAHHHHH!!!! Homework, friends, crippiling anxiety. The normal routine, but, it's too much for me to care about a comic today. Here's a page that doesn't really need a joke attatched; just read the bottom:

Friday, March 30, 2007

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

AHOY!!!! DOUCHEBAG AHEAD!!!!

Ok, yes, there's been a bit of an overabundance of pirates lately. Their book was the first book I purchased, and, thus, most of my jokes come from there. I like this one in particular, since I went a little out of the box with the coloring and appeared to give one of the pirates scurvey.
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Yes I had to point that out! Otherwise, you wouldn't realise how awesome I am. Anyway, back to the comic: Unfortunately, I tend to hear this same line of speech right before I walk up to a person. Not because they don't like me. Well, I tend to not shower...the stink can be kinda unbearable...

Monday, March 19, 2007

This is...like...totally...umm...

As many of you can guess by now, the idea of this comic didn't just come to me. It kinda had to be persuaded out by means I shan't mention hear, for fear that I'm endorsing something...EVIL!!!! But, today's pirates are sure endorsing it: Something tells me that really industrious pirates used to do shit like this, then hijack ships just for their food.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Where? I honestly can't...OH, THERE!!!

Today's comic is partially funny, partially soapbox talk. Honestly, when you look at this picture, how can you not see the goddamn pirate? He's just chillin' out there in the bottom left for all to see! But, the worse part is at the bottom right of the page...no, go look, it's ok, I'll wait...
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didja see it? It says "See Answers". SEE ANSWERS?!?! HOW ARE YOU NOT GONNA SEE THAT GODDAMN PIRATE, AND THEN HAVE TO BE TOLD WHERE IT IS?!?! Honestly, how stupid/lazy have America's youth become: Thanks, helpful talking parrot! I would've never found him on my own!!

Monday, March 12, 2007

The Happiest Scrotal Itch

Ah, my first comic. It finally seems like I've reached the big time...you know...having a free website that I had to do almost virtually nothing to put up...Ok, maybe it's not that huge. But, we start off with my favorite joke: Ooo, I certainly don't. I already have enough as it is.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Hi there, class.

Hello there, children. Welcome to Pretty Colors, America's #1 webcomic done by an Ohio journalism student with lots of free time and Crayons on his hands. My name is Jon, and I'm here to show you a few pictures that I colored for all of you. Do you like coloring, kids? You damn well better. Anyway, I'm gonna update this a few times a week, so that you can always come here and enjoy all the excitement you can get from dollar store coloring books and differently-shaded wax. Enjoy!